All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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