I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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