i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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