I CAN MOONWALK!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
