new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
