I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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