11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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