Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I just found puke in my bra..
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.