Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever? http://tfl.nu/bljl
  Replies (88) Good night (5535) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer" http://tfl.nu/i06z
  Replies (29) Good night (1010) Bad night (9427) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere. http://tfl.nu/eett
  Replies (40) Good night (867) Bad night (11908) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture. http://tfl.nu/0rjo
  Replies (18) Good night (4432) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now. http://tfl.nu/wxpj
  Replies (35) Good night (15104) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (847): Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine? http://tfl.nu/wblw
  Replies (39) Good night (3965) Bad night (1685) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome http://tfl.nu/u3j0
  Replies (6) Good night (2435) Bad night (558) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (434): View more from Virginia

  i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (434): i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister. http://tfl.nu/d8xo
  Replies (34) Good night (3443) Bad night (2953) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (724): I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups http://tfl.nu/pn1i
  Replies (5) Good night (1944) Bad night (540) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (970): at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt. http://tfl.nu/x5kq
  Replies (3) Good night (1862) Bad night (608) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent" http://tfl.nu/6trp
  Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (2550) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (507): The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it h http://tfl.nu/rzj1
  Replies (6) Good night (421) Bad night (1792)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone http://tfl.nu/iull
  Replies (1) Good night (627) Bad night (199) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous http://tfl.nu/c0i4
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (149)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up? http://tfl.nu/j9qb
  Replies (4) Good night (610) Bad night (188) Order T-Shirt

Randomize