Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins