I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.