Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
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