closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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