Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
soo... how was my night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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