Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
No stitches, just platelets and will power
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
