Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
