Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
