Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
