just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
