just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
