Can Purell be used as lube?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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