Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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