On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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