i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
