erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
