i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
