Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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