Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
