4 words: hood of his car
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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