I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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