My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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