I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
