My nipple is on Facebook.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize