i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
