so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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