And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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