Porn is love you can see.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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