I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize