Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
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