Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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