i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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