Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
