she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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