i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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