Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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