That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
