sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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