Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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