I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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