Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I could have mohawked her pubes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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