i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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