She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
did i walk over a car last night?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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