White coat. Heels.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
