I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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