Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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