watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
