Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
