So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you will always have a special place in my vag
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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