Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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