dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
