I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
And then he peed in my hair
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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